Charlie's note: To the general public, this recipe is absolutely disgusting. Nevertheless, for a few fragile years in the 15- to 18- year-old range, male youths consider this the height of culinary art. Do not attempt this recipe if you are NOT a teenage male, with many years of life ahead of you. I invented this sandwich at age 16. This sandwich--indeed, a wantonly bastardized version of the Philly Cheesesteak--was given its volcanic moniker by an accomplice, who noted with wonder its steaming, glowing (and most disturbingly) pinkish hue. It was a genuine hit among my friends, and (especially) my enemies. Yes, we were all idiots, weren't we?
Long Amoroso roll
Cheddar cheese, grated
American cheese, grated
Ricotta cheese, not grated, thoughI did try to
2 Boxes of Steak-umm
1 lb. Ground Beef
Onions, diced (in a half-hearted, ramble-on sort of way)
Miracle-Whip
Barbecue sauce
Mushrooms, diced (really halved)
Pepper
Horseradish sauce, prepared
In skillet, fry all vegetables until…whenever. Then, fry all Steak-umms, breaking up as per a cheesesteak. Add ground beef and brown. Add approximately 2 Tbsp of all condiments except Miracle Whip. Add liberal amounts of all cheeses, stirring constantly. Stop adding cheese when the cheese/meat mixture can do a Gillette Foamy "thick and rich enough" test off the stirring spoon indefinitely. Think intestinal glue. At this point, begin adding Miracle-Whip to the skillet mixture, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the entire mixture achieves a slightly day-glo pinkish hue. Add pepper in liberal amounts, usually "I dare you to add this much pepper" sort of thing. Spoon the meat/cheese/condiment mixture onto a long roll. I recall garnishing this sandwich with ¼ cup parsley as a joke.
Enjoy with a sugary soft drink while playing Space Invaders. Serves 3-4
Charles McGloughlin, Jr.'s recipe